Happy birthday me...
I don't believe in planning your own party. When you celebrate something, it means you love it or admire it or respect it. So if someone planned their own birthday, it seems kind of vain to me. I mean, not that I don't love myself, I do, but planning your own birthday party seems a bit sad don't you think? If you have to plan your own birthday party it means that no one else took some time to do it for you, which doesn't seem like such a big thing to expect seeing as you only get 1 birthday a year.
When you plan someone else's birthday party, you are telling the person that you care enough to think about how to make them happy on their special day. It shows that you wanted to spend time with them and be together on the day they were born. It's symbolic and meaningful.
What I'm trying to say is that I didn't plan anything this year for my birthday. Honestly I don't feel that this is a special day anyway, it goes by like any other day of the year so I treat it like any other day of the year.
Though it is nice to get wished by almost everyone you know.
So, Happy Birthday me...
Monday, July 13, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Life moves on without us
Well, life has a funny way of correcting itself. Or should I say GOD has an amazing way of making things work for His glory ^_^
I gots me a job in a restaurant, it's called Chili Espresso and it is in Sooka Sentral across from KL Central station. I'm working in the kitchen helping out with things like setting up plates and cutting chicken XD. It's a pretty ok job but it can get pretty tiring when rush hour comes.
So, I have been doing alright. Not everything worked out how I wanted, not everyone had the same thoughts I did, but that is how it always is isn't it?
We all have pre-decided thoughts about others that we are almost certain are true, but then we find out they're not. We think we know something but we don't. It annoys me how we humans think we're so smart and we can figure everything out. There are some mysteries and some things that don't make sense to us, and we gotta live with it.
Honestly I am one of those people who hate things that don't make sense. There must be a reason for something, or else I write it off as bullshit. But... sometimes people are not sensible, they do things that don't make sense. This is how life is. Learn to live with it.
I'm glad things worked out for you, and that you are happy now. I can't really say for certain that I am happy that it turned out the way it did between us. I thought I was ok, but in the end I wasn't. I thought that by doing what I did, I was strong, I was macho or something. But I realize now that I was a pussy. I was running away from a confrontation, which was what YOU were doing and which was why what happened happened. If you were just not afraid of confrontation and sucked in your pride and fear and just TOLD us, things might have been so much better. But life has this stupid way of screwing us over and that is exactly what happened to us. But, I am also really glad I had the guts to go and sit down and talk to you. I don't know how you really feel, like you said, some peoples words are supposed to speak louder then their actions. I honestly think that is nonsense. But... if that is how you are and how you live your life, then as a friend I have to accept that.
Life moves on, and sometimes we're left behind in the dust...
Ian
I gots me a job in a restaurant, it's called Chili Espresso and it is in Sooka Sentral across from KL Central station. I'm working in the kitchen helping out with things like setting up plates and cutting chicken XD. It's a pretty ok job but it can get pretty tiring when rush hour comes.
So, I have been doing alright. Not everything worked out how I wanted, not everyone had the same thoughts I did, but that is how it always is isn't it?
We all have pre-decided thoughts about others that we are almost certain are true, but then we find out they're not. We think we know something but we don't. It annoys me how we humans think we're so smart and we can figure everything out. There are some mysteries and some things that don't make sense to us, and we gotta live with it.
Honestly I am one of those people who hate things that don't make sense. There must be a reason for something, or else I write it off as bullshit. But... sometimes people are not sensible, they do things that don't make sense. This is how life is. Learn to live with it.
I'm glad things worked out for you, and that you are happy now. I can't really say for certain that I am happy that it turned out the way it did between us. I thought I was ok, but in the end I wasn't. I thought that by doing what I did, I was strong, I was macho or something. But I realize now that I was a pussy. I was running away from a confrontation, which was what YOU were doing and which was why what happened happened. If you were just not afraid of confrontation and sucked in your pride and fear and just TOLD us, things might have been so much better. But life has this stupid way of screwing us over and that is exactly what happened to us. But, I am also really glad I had the guts to go and sit down and talk to you. I don't know how you really feel, like you said, some peoples words are supposed to speak louder then their actions. I honestly think that is nonsense. But... if that is how you are and how you live your life, then as a friend I have to accept that.
Life moves on, and sometimes we're left behind in the dust...
Ian
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Problems again...
Being back home... sucks at times.
I feel like I'm in the middle of a battle.
Torn between three sides... Mine, and two other people's.
I have my own things and problems... I want to be free of this.
I care about you, I do and I hope you know that, I do know how much pain you went through and how betrayed and hurt you felt. I have tried so hard to make you forget the pain and just be happy, I have done my best to show you that us guys are as horrible and stupid as some have made you think. But apparently I failed, so what does that say about me?
What does it say about the guy who, even while trying to make guys look good, made the look the same, didn't make an impact. What does it say about the guy who tried for 2 years to show some girl that he loved her, only to lose the battle in a month? What does it say about me?
Sigh... I wanna go back to the Doulos... where all I had to worry about was waking up on time for morning shift or getting things ready for an E-day... I miss it so much. The carefree feeling of being where God is really King over all, none of these problems and feelings to disrupt me from Him. Josh... Dude... If you're reading this... I need your prayers man... and anyone else who cares to pray for me... I am in a hard spot emotionally right now, the low that you get after coming back from a missions fields and you get home to all the problems of the world...
Sigh... what does that say of me? ;(
Ian
I feel like I'm in the middle of a battle.
Torn between three sides... Mine, and two other people's.
I have my own things and problems... I want to be free of this.
I care about you, I do and I hope you know that, I do know how much pain you went through and how betrayed and hurt you felt. I have tried so hard to make you forget the pain and just be happy, I have done my best to show you that us guys are as horrible and stupid as some have made you think. But apparently I failed, so what does that say about me?
What does it say about the guy who, even while trying to make guys look good, made the look the same, didn't make an impact. What does it say about the guy who tried for 2 years to show some girl that he loved her, only to lose the battle in a month? What does it say about me?
Sigh... I wanna go back to the Doulos... where all I had to worry about was waking up on time for morning shift or getting things ready for an E-day... I miss it so much. The carefree feeling of being where God is really King over all, none of these problems and feelings to disrupt me from Him. Josh... Dude... If you're reading this... I need your prayers man... and anyone else who cares to pray for me... I am in a hard spot emotionally right now, the low that you get after coming back from a missions fields and you get home to all the problems of the world...
Sigh... what does that say of me? ;(
Ian
Monday, May 25, 2009
Home...
Well, I'm home.
I have been for about a week now...
Not much has changed...
That is both a good and a bad thing...
I'm trying to be more of a good influence on those I know, more Christlike in my walk and talk... but it is hard when all the problems you see and try to fix keep getting bigger and less easy to solve...
I miss the Doulos... I miss not having to worry about all these problems, I miss the peace that I had on board that God blessed vessel.
I miss my friends... Josh, Karl, Jen, Mike, Gerard, Brittany, I miss you guys a lot...
Well, I'm home, and I have a lot of work to do. Pray for me guys!
Love is undefinable and undeniable,
Ian
I have been for about a week now...
Not much has changed...
That is both a good and a bad thing...
I'm trying to be more of a good influence on those I know, more Christlike in my walk and talk... but it is hard when all the problems you see and try to fix keep getting bigger and less easy to solve...
I miss the Doulos... I miss not having to worry about all these problems, I miss the peace that I had on board that God blessed vessel.
I miss my friends... Josh, Karl, Jen, Mike, Gerard, Brittany, I miss you guys a lot...
Well, I'm home, and I have a lot of work to do. Pray for me guys!
Love is undefinable and undeniable,
Ian
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day
Today is Mother's Day.
And even though I am on a ship away from home, I took time today to call my lovely mother and tell her how much I love her. And now here I have a short poem for her.
Mum,
You brought me into the world,
You taught me how to live,
And now there is so much that,
I would like to give.
Mother,
Your helping hand was always there,
To show me the right way,
It is because of your love and grace,
I'm who I am today.
Mama,
I love you oh so much,
You're the only woman in my life,
Well at least that is until,
I meet my lovely wife!
I love you Albertje Stel, AKA Aly Cheah, AKA My Mama!
Love from your eldest son,
Ian Cheah
STEPPER
Malaysia
And even though I am on a ship away from home, I took time today to call my lovely mother and tell her how much I love her. And now here I have a short poem for her.
Mum,
You brought me into the world,
You taught me how to live,
And now there is so much that,
I would like to give.
Mother,
Your helping hand was always there,
To show me the right way,
It is because of your love and grace,
I'm who I am today.
Mama,
I love you oh so much,
You're the only woman in my life,
Well at least that is until,
I meet my lovely wife!
I love you Albertje Stel, AKA Aly Cheah, AKA My Mama!
Love from your eldest son,
Ian Cheah
STEPPER
Malaysia
Monday, May 4, 2009
The end... it is near...
Sigh.
I know... not a very good way to start a post but still. SIGH!
Man oh man, my STEP is almost over! Time just flew by! I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME YET!!! :'(
I mean, not that I don't miss home, I do. But i mean, I feel as if I just started getting used to all this. I feel as if the Doulos life has started to grow on me. I finally got a good rhythm going... AND THEY'RE SENDING ME HOME?!?!
*this is where you insert a picture of me with a very confused angry faise... if you know what a confused angry faise looks like... try and imagine it here coz I don't have a pic :P*
Sigh... gonna miss all my friends... Josh Choi, Mike Young, Karl Hoopman, Hannah Sanders, My whole shift... actually ALL the catering people... they're like, so totally AWESOME!
Yeah... I sound like I'm going home already... but I still have 11 days. But on this ship, that's nothing. I still have my 4 day overnight coming up on the 8th and STEP outing on the same day too but... I feel that the end is very, very much nigh my friends... and it will be a sad end for me...
Love you so much you don't even know...
Ian Cheah
STEPPER
Malaysia
P.S. To all who actually wrote me some e-mails, thank you :) It's soooooooo great to open my inbox and see a farmiliar name there :) thanks you so much! :3
I know... not a very good way to start a post but still. SIGH!
Man oh man, my STEP is almost over! Time just flew by! I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME YET!!! :'(
I mean, not that I don't miss home, I do. But i mean, I feel as if I just started getting used to all this. I feel as if the Doulos life has started to grow on me. I finally got a good rhythm going... AND THEY'RE SENDING ME HOME?!?!
*this is where you insert a picture of me with a very confused angry faise... if you know what a confused angry faise looks like... try and imagine it here coz I don't have a pic :P*
Sigh... gonna miss all my friends... Josh Choi, Mike Young, Karl Hoopman, Hannah Sanders, My whole shift... actually ALL the catering people... they're like, so totally AWESOME!
Yeah... I sound like I'm going home already... but I still have 11 days. But on this ship, that's nothing. I still have my 4 day overnight coming up on the 8th and STEP outing on the same day too but... I feel that the end is very, very much nigh my friends... and it will be a sad end for me...
Love you so much you don't even know...
Ian Cheah
STEPPER
Malaysia
P.S. To all who actually wrote me some e-mails, thank you :) It's soooooooo great to open my inbox and see a farmiliar name there :) thanks you so much! :3
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