Degredation

Ever seen a group of termites eat a piece of rotting wood? They swarm around it till it looks as if the wood is alive and moving and withing moments there's nothing left but splinters and sawdust.

That's what jealousy is like, it eats away at you. It covers everything and just chews away until you're nothing left but mulch. That's how I feel right now.

I know it's not right, I know I should be "happy for you". But I'd be lying if I said I truly was. It's not something that I will be able to take lightly. I don't hold it against you, you've got your own life to live, who the hell am I to tell you how to live it. Who the hell am I to you?

Everyone loves a compliment. That is a fact. Have you ever complimented someone and have them reject it? Since everyone loves compliments, we should be giving them out a lot more often don't you think? I do. That's why I try to tell you how much you mean to me, how much the things you've done for me are appreciated, no matter how small. I try, and if I have missed anything I'll tell you now

I am really grateful for you. For who you are to me and for what you've done for me. You have definitely become someone that I treasure and never want to lose. Thinking of how when you go off to study, somewhere out there in this big world, you may never come back to Malaysia, I just wanna cry sometimes, I have. You're one of my true gems of friends.

I <3 you =3

But, you have you're own life, with other friends, all of whom seem to rank above me. Call me oversensitive or whatever but this is how it seems. Many have criticized me and told me I should just let it go, but that never helps. It's like they say you know, the ones you want to be there the most are never there for you. Depressing as it may be, I do try not to let it affect me. I do try to smile and go on. Shrug off the disappointment and the let-downs and just run with it. ^_^ see? Everyone loves compliments. No one likes to be pulled down or insulted. No matter who they are, how tough the seem, how much they don't seem to care, irregardless of the amount of times they have been insulted, it still hurts. Everyone loves compliments, so here's one for you:

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
But now it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.
^_^

You're Beautiful - James Blunt